Masks, Blessings, and "My Timothy"

A year ago, I could look around my home and my life and feel extremely blessed, yet still knew something was not right. I had just moved into my gorgeous new home that Jason built for us. Everyone in my family was healthy. My husband was being blessed daily by just getting out of God's way and allowing God to move at Antioch. I had friends that would be there in a heartbeat if needed them and I could go to church every Wednesday and Sunday and wear my mask and be the "perfect little pastor's wife"...okay, so you all that know me well, know I'm anything but that!

It was truly in the midst of all of my blessings of home, family and friends that God brought me to my knees and gently told me "your joy is not found in any of these things or people, its found here, with Me". It was in the Fall of last year that as the leaves fell from the trees outside, the masks begun to fall from my heart and my life.

It was not easy, healing hurts. Often, it hurts really bad, but its so worth it in the end. It was during this time that the Lord brought someone already dear to me, even closer. He placed that younger person beside me to love me, to encourage me, to challenge me, and to give me hope in Him through her every day life. As Proverbs 27:17 says, "As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend." She has been my iron, and has sharpened me by continually reminding me to get into the Word, put on my armor, and to know that God is faithful and will always be enough!

I am certainly not a "Paul", but God has blessed me with a "Timothy". In 2 Timothy Paul writes, "I thank God, whom I serve, as my forefathers did, with a clear conscience, as night and day I constantly remember you in my prayers." I am always reminded of "your sincere faith" and want "you to be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus".

I have watched my "Timothy" encourage young and old alike around here and have been blessed to be splashed by her cup that is overflowing. She is leaving a legacy already in the hearts of those who know her or have just heard of her.

In my Bible notes it says "Paul consistently prayed for Timothy, his friend, his fellow traveler, his son in the faith, and a strong leader in the Christian church. Although the two men were seperated from each other, their prayers provided a source of mutual encouragement." Now, just as Paul and Timothy were seperated, so we shall be. The tears that Paul and Timothy shed at their parting revealed the depth of their relationship and I know we have many tears that will be shed over the next few weeks/months, but as I "will recall your tears, and long to see you, so that I may be filled with joy" (2 Timothy 1:4) I will be ever praying for her and her ministry where she is serving.

Sarah Elizabeth Hebert, words are not enough. Thank you. And now, young woman of God, "pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses...I charge you to keep this command without spot or blame until the appearing of our Lord Jesus Christ....to Him be honor and might forever." (I Timothy 6:11-16)

I love you, my friend, my "Timothy"!

Faith

I read something the other day, actually July 15, 2010 (my son's spiritual birthday!) that has had me thinking. It is from "Simple Faith" by Charles Swindoll:

"Once you decide to trust God in simple faith and allow Him complete freedom to carry out His plan and purpose in you as well as through you, you need only relax and count on Him to take care of things you once tried to keep under control."

There are so many good lessons here!

First of all, you have to decide to trust God....with simple faith! Like that simple childlike faith Turner showed last summer; just simply believe that God is who He says He is and He will do what He says He will do!

Second, "allow Him complete freedom to carry out His plan and purpose". Wow! That's BIG!! Its easy to say that you want God to have His plan carried out in your life, but its much harder to give Him complete freedom (like He really needs it, but He gives us the choice). And not just hard for Him to have complete freedom with His plan and purpose for us, but also for those we love. There have been a million times lately I've asked "why?" to several different situations in my life and in the lives of those dear to me. I do believe God is okay with us asking, as long as we are seeking Him for the answers. There are many things in my life I would not have chosen for myself, but looking back God always blessed where I followed Him and gave Him the freedom to fulfill His plan and purpose for my life. (Jeremiah 29:11)

Third, "and through you"....He has a plan for your life and the lives of those you come in contact with. When we are His, others are always watching for us to fail, and we never disappoint, do we? I know I don't. Perfection is not our goal, pointing others to Him through living a life worthy of imitation is our goal.

And lastly, "you need only relax and count on Him to take care of things you once tried to keep under control." Do you find sitting and just being still before Him as hard as I do? In this crazy fast paced, instant communication society we do NOT like to wait!! Even as I type this, I'm waiting, not patiently, for someone to return a text (I mean, I sent it 30 minutes ago, what is taking so long???!!!!!!!!!)...its like we pray to God and then we want an instant message telling us exactly His plans. We are control freaks! And honestly, do we really have control of anything? I can't even control my five year old!

Its all His. His world. His plans. His purpose. His people. His death. His burial. His ressurection. His throne. His return that we eagerly wait for. His Love. Its all His. And in simple faith, I release control and count on Him to take care of things....and tomorrow, or maybe within the next hour, I'll have to release control again and trust Him. Its not a one time thing, its daily, sometimes hourly, sometimes every minute of a day, but always trust Him.

Simple Faith.

Awesome God.

Enough said? :)

Summer, please go slowly!

Dear Mr. Summer,

We wait for you like Christmas. The kids can't wait for you to get here, just like Santa Claus; but just like Christmas you come really slowly, but then you're gone way too quickly! So, I'm asking you today, can you please take your time this year?

We have lots of fun things going on and want to cherish each moment. The kids have been at my parents this week and having a blast. That's another great thing about you, the kids can go to grandparents and have those awesome memories forever...all because of you! You came early for Landri and she and I have already been to the beach, another great trait of yours....trips to the beach!

You also bring Jason's birthday and our anniversary. Next week you hold our 21st anniversary, have you really come 21 times since I said "I do"?? Oh the memories you hold....I met Jason during one of your visits, we had our first date during the same visit and married during a later visit of yours.

You will also bring around the SOAR Conference, the 20th one! This will be our 20th one to attend and what a blessing they have been! From the first one during your visit in 1991, to the one in Washington, DC in '96, to the infamous one in '99 in Houston where Jason put deisel in the church van! They have all been major blessings and times of encouragement to me. I cannot wait to get back to Dallas for yet another one this year!

Your 2010 visit will also bring a big wedding to plan for Jordan and Marty and now they will look forward to your visit every year as they too will celebrate another year of wedded bliss every time you come around.


You always bring much excitement with many camps, baseball, t-ball, time at the pool, vacations, just time in the backyard grilling out with friends, water gun fights, slippery slides, and of course, Vacation Bible Schools! It was during your visit last year that Turner asked Jesus into his young heart. Wasn't that awesome??!!! The God that created you and every other season is now living in his little heart! That makes my heart happy!
While you bring much joy and happiness during your visits we are always sad to see you end. This year will be NO different! This year as you end I will be sending my baby off to Kindergarten, my other baby off to his last year of elementary school and one of my dearest friends ever half way around the world. So I'm asking you again, please take your time in our lives this year. Give us quality time to love, to live, to serve, to worship, to give, to plan, and just be together.



















I thank God for you and all that you bring every year!

Forever grateful,
Toya

How NOT to be a sermon illustration

If you happened to be at Antioch Sunday morning for Mother's Day you heard just how mean the preacher's wife can be. Apparently the so-called Senior Pastor thought it would be funny to share a story about when he and the wife were dating and how he hurt his head (as if anything could hurt THAT head!) and she stood and laughed at him.

Right here is the main point in NOT being a sermon illustration: what the future wife should have done was rush to his side, "bless your heart" him to death and get an ice pack....if this had been done, it would have been forgotten, thus no sermon illustration for the pastor 20+ years down the road! He would have forgotten the sweetness!

So really what is one to do? I mean, a pastor needs illustrations, but are those really kind moments remembered or just the mean ones? Should one be constantly on the lookout to give the man an illustration so he can make better points, spread the gospel and further God's kingdom? I think so! I'm sure the future wife in question was only thinking down the road and that if she laughed at that moment, he could use it somewhere down the road to make a point in a sermon....after all, we are called to live a life worthy of pointing others to Christ and if that just happens to mean laughing at a preacher who knocked his own self silly, well then....laugh away and praise God for pastors with hard heads!

In an effort to spread the Gospel, don't try so hard to not be a sermon illustration but rather go be a sermon illustration for your pastor today! It'll help him out greatly! As for my pastor, he better be really thankful that he bought me an awesome Mother's Day present and took me out to eat.....saved him another knock on the head and NOT from a door frame! :) I love you, Jason Aultman, and today if you come running down the hallway and jump too soon and hit your head on the door frame again in efforts of trying to scare me...well, rest assured, I'll run to your side, make sure you're alive and still giggle!

Isn't He Worthy?

We sang a song yesterday in church that I just absolutely love! Its Worthy is the Lamb written by Kathryn Scott....here are the words:

Worthy worthy Lamb of heaven
Seated on the throne
Faithful author of salvation
You're the kingdom come
And now we're joining with the angels singing
Worthy is the Lamb
We're casting down our crowns before You singing
Worthy is the Lamb
Worthy worthy worthy is the Lamb
Worthy worthy worthy is the Lamb

As Jason preached out of Colossians 1 on how faith and love are forever intertwined, those words kept resounding in my heart and mind. He spoke of how faith is vertical and love is horizontal.

God's faith comes down to us and then we are able to pour His love out onto others around us. Isn't He worthy of that? He loved us! John 15:13

We want our own ways a lot of times, but His ways are always MUCH higher than ours. Isn't He worthy of that? Isaiah 55:9

We think our plans are perfect and all would work out, but He's had plans for us all the time, isn't He worthy of us to follow those? Jeremiah 29:11

We collect our material possessions and become greedy and don't want to tithe and give, but isn't He worthy? Matthew 19:21

Some folks just really try our patience and we want to just ignore them or yell at them, but aren't we called to love? Isn't He worthy of that? Luke 10:27

We want to hold very tightly to those we love and keep them safe and near, but some are called to go, even in sorrow He will reward. Isn't He worthy? Psalm 126:6

How will the world hear if we aren't willing to speak up and tell of His great love for us?!! Isn't He worthy? Romans 10:14

Yes! Worthy is the Lamb! He is worthy to receive everything we could possibly offer and so much more! The wealthiest folks on this planet are poverty stricken compared to His wealth. Then again, some of the poorest folks on this planet are wealthy beyond imagination because of what He has offered them! Lets lay aside the prejudices, the disagreements, the wars, the fighting, the bickering, the economic levels, the political debates, the grudges, etc etc etc and lets just love! After all....isn't He worthy?!!!!! Lets throw down our crowns at His feet and join with the angels and sing "WORTHY IS THE LAMB!!"

Wow! What a week!

I. love. this. man! And I'm so very proud of him and the way God is using him!

So many things have happened since last week at this time! The BMA National meeting in Fort Smith, AR last week will forever be a special time for me. We missed the Monday night meeting because Turner had a ballgame and mom and the coach can't miss the first game of the season! :) The Oregon State Beavers (yes, that is his team's name!) lost in a nail biter and then we were off!

Tuesday morning I actually went to the WMA meeting at 8:30! I know, right?!! Who would ever think that! I had three precious young ladies taking part and they had asked me to go, so I went. Courtney Jordan said a prayer and Molly Bowman brought and amazing devotional on transparency. Molly and I have talked so much about that over the past few months and how others need to see that we don't always have it together. Christians mess up. Christians aren't perfect. Christians aren't always even happy. The thing is to be honest and open and allow God to use the things in our lives to point others to Him. She was awesome!

Then Courtney Luck shared about GMA Retreat this year....can I just add right here that I love these girls so very much??!!!!

haha!! we're so cool!

We left the meeting early and then sat around and visited with our future BMA missionaries...3 of the 4 that were elected. WOW!! I'm telling you, holy ground, folks! There are some amazing young ladies God is raising up in our midst and I was humbled to be sitting there talking with them all.

I then spent time down on my knees, literally, for the Missions Advisory Board and those ladies going through their interviews. My heart was full when I got the text that "all went great! unanimous...all approved!" God is so good!!

Tuesday night we had CHURCH!! It was awesome!! Antioch's praise team and choir led worship and then my man preached! There wasn't a prouder person in the place than the one sitting middle seat, second row center! God's Spirit filled the place and we were all challenged to never give up! don't quit! Run the race well til we run into the arms of Jesus at the finish line! Won't that be awesome...to look and see Jesus waiting with arms open wide telling us to "come to me"....aaaahhh!! To be held in those mighty arms!!

Afterwards it was awesome to watch folks that are so special to Jason stand in line and hug his neck. Many tears were shed by lots of men that night (and yes, of course the ladies too!). It was so cool to have Bro. Horton introduce Jason as the speaker and then Bro. Grady Higgs to thank him for a job well done. Two very special men that Jason has had the blessing of working for and learning from. I went to bed this night with my heart very full!

Wednesday I was actually up and dressed and at the meeting at 9 to go hear the Lifeword report. Then snuck out to go eat some Cracker Barrel with Sarah, Jan and Margaret...yummy! I then spent the rest of the morning/early afternoon relaxing and visiting with my precious friend....listening to worship music and praying! A very special time!

the big night!! I'm such a proud friend!!

We got word early afternoon that Jason had been elected as the 2nd VP of the BMA....haha!! He was thrilled! He will be great serving as an officer! Super ideas and a heart for people! Yep! That's my man! :)

We made it back over to a little bit of the meeting...okay, actually we had to be there to win an Ipad if our names were called...they weren't! :( Oh well....then the emotions of the day hit! I dropped Sarah back off at her room and I knew she was nervous about the commissioning service and having to speak, but I knew God was already using her....has been for a long while! I made it back to my room and then cried and prayed and prepared myself for the evening.

Jason introducing Sarah: "Its been my privilege to be her pastor at her second home while she has been at Central Baptist College...we are fortunate to have this young lady going to the Philippines to serve in our behalf...she will do an amazing work. Sarah has a commitment to the Lord, a devotion, a surrender, a love for the Lord that is an encouragement to others, a blessing to others and quite honestly sometimes even convicting to others. She has endeared herself to our church and on a very personal note she has endeared herself to my family. We love her and we are very very proud of her!" Yes, I was crying by this point! So very true...all of it! He did a super job!

Sarah then shared her heart, and oh how I love that heart! She has a relationship with the Lord that few have these days and her desire is for everyone to really know Him! To seek Him, to love Him, to surrender to Him. I am so challenged by her walk and I thank God daily for putting such an amazing young lady in my life; not only as just another college student, but as a very dear and precious friend!

Jason and I were able to stand with her and her parents while the commissioning prayer was said and wow! It just blessed my socks off! As I was standing there, I thought of last years meeting and standing there with two other young ladies we were sending off to spread the gospel to the uttermost parts of the earth and my heart just about burst!! I'm so very thankful and grateful and humbled to have had the blessing of knowing these girls! It was a very special night with many tears...tears of sadness because of the one who would soon be leaving us, but also tears of joy because of the ONE she was surrendering to and giving her life up to serve!!

Thursday morning Jason had a meeting....oh to be an officer! We then headed back home to see my kiddos!! :) Oh they make me happy! We had a fun evening together and grandmama and granddaddy came through and spent the night and went to Turner's game....the Beavers won!! oh yeah!!!

Friday and Saturday was busy with a sleepover for Turner, friend's house, Pizza Inn and birthday parties for Landri; and I rode to Springhill, LA with Sarah so she could speak at a GMA district House Party....yes, she is now the missionary that all these young girls will look up to, study about and pray for! That's just awesome!! We made it back to the house about 1:45 a.m. and then went up to Damascus for a WMA breakfast Saturday morning...she spoke there as well and did a fabulous job! Spoke for 40 minutes! :) It was fun to see those ladies respond to her, they just loved her....fun times!

Sunday was another Antioch Sunday! They're always fun and always a blessing! CrossTraining and the sermon went along with the whole week I had just experienced....out of Luke 9:23 "Then he said to them all, 'If anyone wants to become my follower, he must deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow me.'" Not that we daily take up struggles, but they we daily lay ourselves open to Him for Him to work in our lives that His glory may be seen. Its easy to deny ourselves when all we want to do is please Him and seek Him and give all glory to Him! Its not without tears and hurts, but knowing the "will of God will never take you, where the grace of God won't keep you" is always such comfort! He's always there! He's always trustworthy! He's always faithful! and HE is ALWAYS ENOUGH!! Oh the blessed assurance of His promises!!

so very thankful to God for blessing me with an amazing godly husband that always seeks God first and foremost in his life and his daily walk! also thankful he blessed me with a friend that has encouraged me in my walk with him like no other friend ever has! talk about accountability...this chick will do it! :)

"I'm praying!"

Why do we look to get from others what only Jesus himself can give us? Why do we need words of affirmation and encouragement from them when we hold His love letters to us in our hands? Why do we want others to really get it, when He already knows it all? Why do we give Him our problems in the morning only to pick them up again by lunch? Why are we so stinkin' needy??

Well, I don't know the answers to all these questions....they're just ones I've asked! I do know that He tells us in Ecclesiastes 4 that He never intended for us to be a lone ranger, we were designed for relationships. A friend increases your yield, helping you to reach the potential He's destined for you. We we fall, a friend can be there to help you up. We should pity the person who doesn't have anyone to stand with them. He goes on to tell us that a three cord strand with Him at the center is not easily broken...not even during earth-shaking trials.

So maybe in those verses lie some of the answers to the questions...He doesn't want us to do it alone. He created us to need each other. He created in us a void that only He could fill and many times those friends point us to Him. We've all heard the verse that there is no greater love than this, that a man lay down His life for His friends....that's how much He loved us! He died for us!

Did you also know that He prayed for us??? Yes, Jesus prayed for us! In John 17:20-21 "I pray for these followers, but I am also praying for all those who will believe in me because of their teaching. Father, I pray that they can be one. As You are in me and I am in You, I pray that they can also be one is Us. Then the world will believe that you sent me." Do you know when He prayed this? The night He was arrested! The night he took His three closest friends away to be near while He prayed...and they slept! That's the love He has for us....He was praying for us while facing the greatest death in history and His best friends slept...that's love folks!

Oh, how I thank Him for loving me....even when I'm the one who might be "sleeping". I thank Him for giving me the gift of His word that encourages and uplifts and tells me in every page just how much He loves me! As for friends, those who you are bound to with Him as that center cord, what more do we really need to hear from them at times than the simple words, "I'm praying!"?

I know this has been a rambling post, but I'm just typing as I'm thinking and trust me this head is in chaos! :)
I'm humbled this week to be a part of a meeting where my husband is preaching the big message of the week and one of my dearest friends ever is giving her life to missions...just like the love of God, I did nothing to deserve their love or friendship, but I'm glad He decided to bless me with both of these marvelous folks in my life! He KNEW I'd need y'all!!!