Eyes on Japan, Hearts on Him

"Dear Lord,
We're still hoping we'll wake up. We're still hoping we'll open a sleepy eye and think, What a horrible dream.
But we won't, will we, Father? What we saw was not a dream. Earthquakes did happen. Tsunami waves did wash away whole villages. People did perish. It was no dream and, dear Father, we are sad.
There is a rice farmer who will no longer plant and a doctor who will no longer heal. A church
has lost her priest, a classroom is minus a teacher. There was one that was captain of a fishing boat, another was a clerk at the local grocery store and yet another, dearest Father, another one that was just a baby stripped from her mother's arms as the flood waters rushed upon them.
We are sad, Father. For as the innocent are buried beneath water and debris, our innocence is buried as well. We thought we were safe. Perhaps we should have known better. But we didn't.
And so we come to you. We don't ask you for help; we beg you for it. We don't request it; we
implore it. We know what you can do. We've read the accounts. We've pondered the stories and
now we plead, Do it again, Lord. Do it again.
Remember Joseph? You rescued him from the pit. You can do the same for us. Do it again, Lord.
Remember the Hebrews in Egypt? You protected their children from the angel of death. We have
children, too, Lord. Do it again.
And Sarah? Remember her prayers? You heard them. Joshua? Remember his fears? You inspired
him. The women at the tomb? You resurrected their hope. The doubts of Thomas? You took
them away. Do it again, Lord. Do it again.
You changed Daniel from a captive into a king's counselor. You took Peter the fisherman and
made him Peter an apostle. Because of you, David went from leading sheep to leading armies.
Do it again, Lord, for we need counselors today, Lord. We need apostles. We need leaders. Do it
again, dear Lord.
Do It Again, Lord

Most of all, do again what you did at Calvary. What we saw here on that Thursday, you saw there
on that Friday.  Innocence destroyed. Goodness washed away. Mothers weeping. Evil rejoicing. Just
as the waters splashed over the tv screens we have been glued to, the darkness fell on your Son. Just as families and towns were shattered, the very Son of Eternity was pierced.
And by dusk, heaven's sweetest song was silent, buried behind a rock.
But you did not waver, O Lord. You did not waver. After three days in a dark hole, you rolled the
rock and rumbled the earth and turned the darkest Friday into the brightest Sunday. Do it again,
Lord. Grant us another Easter.
We thank you, dear Father, for these hours of unity. Disaster has done what discussion could
not. Doctrinal fences have fallen.Republicans are standing with Democrats. Skin colors have been
covered by mud and debris. We thank you for these hours of unity.
And we thank you for these hours of prayer. The Enemy seeks to bring us to our knees and he has succeeded. He has no idea, however, that we kneel before you. And he has no idea what You
can do.
Let your mercy be upon the country of Japan and those who still seek to find loved ones. Grant to those who
lead them wisdom beyond their years and experience. Have mercy upon the souls who have departed and the wounded who remain. Give us grace that we might help in some way and faith that we might believe.
And look kindly upon your church. For two thousand years you've used her to heal a hurting
world.
Do it again, Lord. Do it again.
Through Christ,
Amen."
(this was originally a prayer that Max Lucado wrote after 9/11, after I changed a few words, it is still very appropriate!)

None of us can get the images we are seeing out of our heads. We try, but once there, God will not let us. He wants us to remember. He wants us to be praying. He wants us to realize how short life is and just how fragile. None of us are promised tomorrow.
I'm praying for those who have yet to trust in Jesus Christ as their personal Saviour. I'm praying that the church of God can be a light to this dark world. May He work through us to make a difference in the world that we are passing through. And let me tell you, life is more than the journey! Its the ultimate destination that we live for and that is to live in Heaven where we can praise our Lord 24/7 with folks from every tribe and every nation!  What a time that will be!
So today, as those images from Japan rush through your mind's eye once again, hug your loved ones, tell them you love them, and then go shine His light in this dark world! and if His light is not in you, ask Him to put it there, He will. He is always faithful, all we need to do is believe. And if His light is just a flicker in your life today, take some time and just spend it with Him, in His word and talking with Him and before you know it, that light will be brightly shining and glorifying His great name once again!  Do it again, Lord, do it again!

Remaining...

“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love." John 15:9

Remaining. Abiding. Staying. Continuing. Resting. Waiting.

It seems everywhere I have looked this week, God has been there to remind me, this is what I must do to honestly and wholly seek Him.  I read a quote from my Beth Moore Bible study that keeps resonating in my head..."Sometimes we stand to learn the most about God from the situations we understand the least."  As my friend Rebekah would say, "that'll preach!"

How true it is that the things that make the least amount of sense to us at times, are the experiences God will use the most?? The key, I am learning, is to wait. UGH! Is waiting not a killer sometimes?  I want to see the reason why NOW! I am a product of the microwave generation, I don't want it 30 minutes from now, I really would've liked it 30 minutes ago! 

I ask : Why are my children not getting the lessons and virtues we are trying to instill in them? 
He answers: Just remain in Me.
I ask: Why are these young ladies not getting these lessons from Your Word that we teach week after week?
He answers: Just abide in Me.
I ask: Why does it feel like I have no one that understands me at times?
He answers: Just stay here with Me.
I ask: Why keep going? Is it really making a difference?
He answers: Just continue.
I ask: Why, as a wife, mom, pastor's wife, PTO member, homeroom mother, Sunday School teacher, daughter, sister, friend, etc etc, I feel as if I can barely keep my head above the water?
He answers: Just rest in Me.
I ask: Why are there days that I feel I can't hear You?  Like You are not answering me?
He answers: Just wait on Me.

And while I am remaining, abiding, staying, continuing, resting, and waiting....I study His Word. I trust.  There are many people in this world that we long to be more like, I'm deep into one of their Bible studies and books right now and I skyped with four others this morning, but He reminded me as I clicked "end call" that He did not call me to be like them, He called me to be like Him. We can't measure our love and reverance and respect for God through what others are doing or not doing, we have to use God as our ultimate example.  We have to live the life He called us to live and that is a life of remaining in Him.

I would love to tell you this is something I have down, that I abide in Him every single day of my life. Fail. Oh but those days I get it! Really get it! What joy it brings! He's teaching me, little by little, lesson by lesson, day by day that He is always enough! He is always faithful! And He that began a good work in me, will be faithful to complete that work! (Philippians 1:6) His only request of me...to remain in Him.

Twas The Week Before Thanksgiving

Twas the week before Thanksgiving and all through our house
There was rushing and running, no one a louse
The dog was sitting by the fire without a care
In hopes that the kids would soon NOT be there.


The children were bundled and sent off to school
With the mutterings of "these clothes aren't cool"
Daddy off to work and mom left alone
Updating her status on her iPhone.


When up in the attic there arose such a clatter
She sprang from her chair to see what was the matter
Away to the stairs she flew like a, hmmm....flash (?)
Tripping over mounds of laundry in the hallway stashed.


The light in the attic, so dimly lit
Showed the Christmas decor had finally been hit
Then what to her wandering eyes should appear
But about 20 more tubs full of Christmas cheer.


With a room full of chaos, every where she roamed
She knew in a moment, she must be in her home!
There were toys and messes strewn in every room
And you could hear her grumble as she dug out the broom.


"Now really! Now really! Now really, my son!
Oh daughter! Oh daughter! Thanksgiving has come!
From the dirtiest of  floors, to the top of the wall,
Clean it up! Clean it up! Clean it up all!"


As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When she's met with an obstacle, she looks to the sky.
So up from the house her prayers, they flew,
With pleads of mercy and grace, and of course patience, too.


And then, in a twinkling, she felt the calm
Time spent with Him was always a healing balm.
As she gave Him thanks, for the blessings galore
Down from the heavens His praises they poured!


She was filled with awe, from her head to her feet,
Thanking Him daily for the times that they meet.
A bundle of worries she flung off her back,
No problems too big, there's nothing He can't hack.

Her eyes-filled with wonder, her heart filled with joy!
As she cleaned and dusted and picked up a toy!
And prayed for the boy in the hoodie, and the girl with a bow
And asked Him to make their hearts as white as the snow.

She sang and she danced, no longer gritting her teeth
As she tripped over legos and hung up a wreath.
She had a life full of blessings, no reason to yell
She had a God and family that loved her, and knew this well!

Her faith wavered, at times, over every little thing,
But today she gave it to Him, the Master, the King!
That sweet baby Jesus, no longer in the manger lay;
But now was her Comforter, her Friend, throughout the day!

She spoke not a word, but went straight to her work,
And cleaned up the house, then turned with a jerk.
Hanging decorations on, yet, another tree,
She was as amazed and thankful as she could be!

She sprang to her computer, and just had to blog
About the peace that came in the Christmas rush fog.
And I heard her exclaim with a grateful heart
"Thank You, Gracious Father, for the kick start!"

"I can't not do it"

I remember those words being spoken by a dear friend of mine and I felt the same way as I was listening to my ipod a bit ago while cleaning house.  I'm about to post a "talk" off of a CD by Travis Cottrell.  Its Beth Moore speaking and wow! Every time I hear it, I just want to shout!

Enjoy:

"The crowd joined in the attack against Paul and Silas. And the magistrates ordered them to be stripped and beaten. After they had been severely flogged they were thrown into prison and the jailer was commanded to guard them carefully.  Upon receiving such orders he put them in the inner cells and fastened their feet in the stocks.
About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God and the other prisoners were listening to them. And suddenly there was such a violent earthquake that the foundations of the prisons were shaken and at once all the prison doors flew open and every one's chains came lose. Their skin, torn apart by a severe flogging. And when the Word of God uses the word 'severe' for a flogging, they had been beaten half to death. I would suggest they did not feel like worshiping. They made a choice. And in that moment they overcame every power of darkness.
I thought to myself, 'there is so much purification in persecution'. You see when we do not have a negative force coming against us to unspoil us and to unify us then we can just decide we're not going to worship because we don't like that song the worship leader chose. Or we are distracted by some one's outfit. Anyone know what I'm talking about?  Or maybe we could not find a parking place at church and we're just like, ticked off.
So we're just not going to sing, cause we're not in the mood to sing.
Then we're reminded of a couple of guys torn to shreds who lifted up their voices in the midst of so much pain. Sometimes you praise first, and you feel it later. Anybody get that with me? You just praise first, and then you feel it later.
I thought to myself looking at these passages, that earthquakes at times can be the very best things that ever happen to us. And earthquakes do happen. Always means something exciting. A violent earthquake Scripture says. Something we were not looking for. Something we did not want. No one ever wants an earthquake in their life. Something in our personal life. Something in our marriages. Something with our kids. Something in our homes. Something in our businesses. A violent earthquake.
And our first reaction is to feel shamed by it. We may even drop out of worship experience, corporately over it. Hide from people. Feel like we could never show our faces.  When we don't realize that sometimes it takes a violent earthquake to bring change to our status quo. And sometimes we find that even in that God works all things together for good and He used that earthquake in your life and in my life. That unexpected violence that came to us to caused the ground beneath us to shake. Everything to shake that could be shaken so that we could see what Hebrews tells us that cannot be shaken.
And somehow in the midst of the biggest earthquake of our lives, that's what happened to me, those bonds that have held us every moment that we have lived begin to drop lose.
My grandson, Jackson, is almost 3 years old and when he was two and a half we were on a road trip with him. There he was in the car seat in the backseat and he kept looking out the window, we were in the middle of no where, on a country road getting to a retreat center. He kept saying 'I found it! I found it!'
'Well what did you find, darling?' and it would just be like a cow, it could be an old tractor, it could've been anything,..'I found it! I found it!'  All his life he had been looking for it. Sometimes we don't even know what we're looking for until we find it.
People are not looking for you to have it together.  People are looking at you to see what happens when you don't. What happens to you after an earthquake comes? And your bonds fall lose? And someone who has been a captive for 35 years is suddenly set free and the jailers around you go 'I don't know who that is, but i want it, because I found it! I found it! I didn't even know I was looking until I found it.'
What happens in worship does not stay in worship, we live it out and someone catches it. And they are saved!"


Has your world been shaken?  I know so many folks that I can look to and see real faith in God lived out in their lives as they have lived through or are experiencing earthquakes in their lives.  Oh what faith!  In those times, when no one else can do anything for us, we find that He is all we truly need.  I want that faith!  That passion! That influence!  The glory of God seen in my every day life...to live out worship, so others will see it and want it and be saved!!!  (As my former pastor would say...."Glory!!!")

Holey....like Swiss Cheese

Have you ever considered yourself to be like Swiss cheese?  Read this excerpt from a book by Nicole Johnson titled Fresh-Brewed Life:

"We are like Swiss cheese, and the holes in us are actually supposed to be there. The holes are the things that make us who we are. The holes are the places God has reserved in us for Himself! The longings identify our real hunger. A hunger that drives us to Him to be satisfied."

It seems every direction I turn these days God is reminding me of the fact that only He can fill those places in my life.  How often, do we as people, try to fill that empty feeling? and with how much junk?  Alcoholics try with liquor. Drug addicts with different types of drugs and that "high". But how about just little things that aren't necessarily considered "wrong", but ask yourself, "are they really beneficial?"

I'm going through a book (STRONG WOMEN soft hearts by Paula Rinehart) with a friend/mentor, Jerene Reddin, and this question has kept coming back to me.  What am I trying to fill my holes with?  Busyness seems to be the one that we all try the most. Being busy has almost become a competition. Who's busier, you or me? I mean, really folks! Has it really come to this?  In this day and time, we are all busy! It doesn't matter who you are or where you live, but often times, is it because of necessity or because of our wants, our desires to fill those holes with busyness or the things that busyness affords? I'm as guilty as the next person.

I was reminded of the old saying "When the going gets tough, the tough go shopping."  Wow! How often have I done that?  If I begin to feel really down, don't I run to the closest mall?  Really....what do I need? Not a thing, but something about shopping, filling that instant gratification in us, makes us feel better...for a while.  The hole is still there.  That hole that can only be filled with the peace of God in our lives, time spent with Him and in His Word. It won't be filled with a new purse or some cute shoes! (though I'm not against those things!!! totally love cute shoes and purses!!)

We are all after success in our lives, but as our pastor (that really cute guy I happen to be married to!) told us yesterday, "Success is not found in our own strength, but in God's strength."  We won't be able to do it on our own.  Sure we can for a little while, but eventually that catches up to you. Trust me.  We can depend on "things" and even people, but in the end, true filling, true success, true happiness is found when we allow Him to fill those holes in our lives.  Things will fall apart, rust, decay.  People will make us mad, move away from us, and/or eventually die. Nothing we do can change those facts and if our holes have been filled with things other than God, our holes will remain.

I don't know about you, but I really don't care to be like Swiss cheese! I'd rather be solid like cheddar and we all know "cheddar is better"!!

I've seen what faith can do!

October 12^th will always hold a special place in my heart, because it was on this date last year that I chose to quit just talking the talk, but to truly walk the walk.  I had believed in Jesus for a long time and in the past had had a great relationship with Him. I chose to let troubles of this world, wounds given to me, wounds I had given, and the fact that the plans for my life were not necessarily the plans God had for my life have much more focus than they needed.  I had been a Christian since I was 8 years old, but for the past 10 years or so I had chosen not to truly value my relationship with Him…that was until last October!

Kutless had their new song out, “What Faith Can Do”  and I cannot tell you the times I had listened to it and wondered “just what can my faith do?”  It felt so small, but I wore the mask of a faithful follower well.  I attended our annual Pastor’s Oasis and the group Selah was there and they had a song that really spoke to me, called “Unredeemed” (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NreUhPk9s9Y) Its amazing how God can really grab my heart with a song…He knows what each of us needs and what exactly will speak to us, and perhaps only us, but He always knows best!  He was tendering my heart, getting it ready for the breaking process it was about to endure.

The day after I returned from Pastor’s Oasis I left for Memphis to go hear Beth Moore…and if you don’t know who she is…google her! NOW!  Jason jokingly calls us a cult, but it’s a cult I’m a proud member of!  

She was doing a women’s conference in Memphis and I went with some ladies from our church.  She spoke right to me, or should I say God spoke directly to me through her.  He was calling me to forgive where forgiveness needed to be given, to love those that might hate me, and to lay all my broken pieces at His feet.  Of course, being the hard head that I am, I left without doing any of the above!

Then came Sunday night after church, actually pretty late that night, I had a true heart to heart with a friend. Spilled just about everything and told her I knew I had been wearing a mask.  Those masks that are so easy to put on…the mask of “everything is okay”, the mask of “Bible studier”, the mask of “all is well”, the mask of “caring pastor’s wife”.  There are so many masks we wear, the list could go on and I’m pretty sure I had a closet full of them, just chose daily which one I was going to wear and would just put on whichever one the day called for and typically would pack a few more “just in case”.  Oh how I was fooling myself!

She gave me a verse that night and I read it when I got home, but it wasn’t until Monday morning, October 12, 2009 that I took it to heart.  Psalm 51:17 “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.”  That morning I literally spent three hours with the Father. Oh what a precious time!  I laid down all my hurts, fears, failures, basically a broken heart and gave them to Him…and that is where the healing began.  I prayed Psalm 51:12 “Restore to me the joy of Your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.”  My faith had been stagnant long enough and I had just been going through the motions, oh, but no more!

Has the road been easy? No. Healing hurts. Has it brought joy? Absolutely!  It’s the joy that can only come from Him and spending time with Him.  When you allow Him full access to your heart and build on the relationship that begins the day of salvation, its life changing!

I’m grateful for my husband who prayed for me and had known for a while that this point was coming, but in his wisdom he chose to just remain quiet and allow God’s timing and His Spirit to lead me to the change.  He is such a godly man and I thank God for him every day of my life.

I’m also grateful for a young college student, who turned out to be one of the best friends ever.  I know we are a very unlikely pair, but isn’t that just like God, to put a friend in our life that is totally beyond anything we ever imagined?!  Sarah Hebert has listened, encouraged, challenged, and was always there asking “have you put that armor on yet?”  She held me accountable and still does, even now, living a half a world away.  I’m forever grateful for this unique friendship and she will never know just how much God has used her life in my relationship and growth in Him.

God has opened door after door once I gave it all to Him.  He led me to go on a trip to the Philippines last February where I helped with the Asia-Pacific Women’s Conference.  What a blessing that was!  I’ll have to admit though, that I had this overwhelming fear once I got there of “what in the world was He thinking bringing me here?”  God always knows best!  Though I’m so unworthy, He still loves me and has just led me to be a lot more transparent with Him and with others.

Am I still wearing masks?  I’d be lying to say that I never throw one of those on, but I’m much more aware of what I’m doing and can more easily lay them aside and just be real. Transparency in this day and age is hard.  Everyone expects the pastor’s wife to have it all together, well, NEWSFLASH…this one doesn’t!  I’m just a sinner saved by grace just like the next person. And oh what marvelous grace that is!  I’m so thankful that I serve an amazing God who loves me, regardless of anything I may do; it’s unconditional! 

Now the prayer of my heart is to break my heart for what breaks His.  I want that passion to love others like He loves them.

Yes, this past year, “silent prayers have been answered, broken hearts have been made new, that’s what faith can do!”