Mask of Joy

That is what I felt like today. Do you ever have one of those days? When you feel like you have people so fooled by the mask you are wearing?  I received a text today saying something about me being so calm and having it so together. I nearly spit the water I was drinking out on the laundry I was working on over the laugh I did on that one!

I mean really, it was just a short time before that text came that I had nearly pulled my hair out with my kids and sent them to their corners (literally, noses pointing inward!) before they came out for about the 15th round...and that was before noon!

Yes, the mask was on out in public, but then again, is that such a bad thing?  Do I really need the teller at the bank to know how I can really mess up the job as mom? Do the people at the post office really need to know how I am not such a great friend some days?  And how about that perky little thing checking us out at lunch? Does she need to know that today I'm not the textbook "pastor's wife"? And the lady at the bowling alley? She doesn't really need to see my real emotions right now, does she?

I think its days like this, that one honestly has to rely heavily on the Spirit to put a mask on for you. The real me, the human me, wanted to scream at the top of my lungs, but the Spirit living in me, He held my tongue. The real me, could have gone through the day with a chip on her shoulder, but the Spirit had already flung it off. The real me could have taken things real personal, but the Spirit in me allowed it to let it go. The real me could have taken this hormonal middle age lady and given someone a real talkin' to, but the Spirit in me reminded me that being controlled by my own desires will stunt my spiritual growth.

Typically, you will find me yelling "take off the mask! just be real! be transparent!"  While I still firmly believe those things, I also believe there is a time and place.  If I were to sit down with any of those folks I mentioned for a one on one conversation, I'd like to believe I could be real with them and allow them to see the so many weaknesses in me, but also that I would point any strength I did possess right back to the Father.  Do they need to know I'm having a bad day in one brief encounter? I don't think so. What kind of light does that shine for Him or on Him?1 Corinthians 2:3 says "I came to you in weakness and fear and with much trembling." and often that is where I find myself, going out into this darkened world with fear and much trembling. I do not boast in my own self! There is absolutely not one thing for me to boast about! But when the mask does come off, and I do just get real, well then I hope you can see me as God sees me....a very wretched sinner, but saved by that wonderful blood of Jesus!

 As Christians we hear often about the armor of God. I even have a friend that will ask me some days if I'm being a little whiney or snippy, "have you put your armor on?" Meaning have I spent some time with Him and in His Word.  Well today, my friend, I can honestly say, "yes, ma'am! The armor was put on! And along with the belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, the sword of the Spirit, the helmet of salvation, and the shield of faith, today I also put on the mask of joy"...which I guess really isn't a mask after all. Its just allowing the Spirit to smile through!

So no, dear Caroline, I am far from calm and having it all together; but I gladly wear the mask of that when needed for no other reason than to point to the Lord and where my strength lies! Also to remind others of what Bro. Bobby reminded us yesterday at Antioch...."the best is yet to come!!"