His fault! My fault!

I hate him! I do, I can't stand him! He can take the most perfect day that was meant to be a great day with the Lord and totally ruin it with stupid stuff!  Do you know what I mean?
He has put misery into the lives of everyone I know and love.  He literally roams around looking for ways to make us miserable and to destroy our testimonies.  Why do we listen to him? Why do we cave?
There is not one single divorce, insecurity, illness, lie, deceit, manipulation, gossip, theft, murder, back-biting, depression, suicide, sex outside of marriage, pornography, drugs, drunkenness, apathy, gambling, etc. etc. that he is not a part of!  Life on this earth before him, was ideal. Then he entered, enticed, we listened and we fell.
Its Satan, and no, we can't keep blaming Adam and Eve; when what they did, we continue to do every day.  They were not with God and they listened to him, and failed.
Its his fault! All of it! Well, that is what I was thinking earlier anyway, but then I listened to God.  I sat before Him, our Lord, feeling so unworthy, yet again.  I had failed once again.  I had listened to the king of lies once again. I had failed to take the time to put on my armor, His armor, once again. And of course, we always look for someone to blame, so I blamed Satan, once again!
For several hours I went around my house blaming him, until the ears of my heart heard God say, "My child, I was here. I was ready to spend time with you. I was ready to equip you to fight those fiery darts he was going to throw. I was ready to put my power in you to withstand anything he could throw your way. I wanted to fill you, fill you to overflowing. I wanted to pour down My grace and mercy so you could be a light to all those whom you come in contact with and by doing that glorify My Son. I was here, Child. Waiting. And waiting. Always ready to love you. To hold you.  Don't feel unworthy. My Son died for you. You are priceless to me. You are precious to me. And you are right, he does seek to ruin you, but I am stronger. Take the time to come to me. Read my love letters to you. Read them again and again. Memorize them. Greater is He that is in you than he that is in this world. I'm breaking your heart for those things that break mine. Its going to hurt, my child, but I'll hold you. You're never out of My hands. Stand strong! Your armor is on. I'm equipping. I'm pouring. I'm filling. Go shine. Go fight. Go glorify My Name in all you say and do. And above all, just love."
Well hello! It was MY fault! I chose not to seek Him first and without that daily armor being put on, I'm too weak to fight. The armor has too many holes, but Nehemiah 4:20 promises that the Lord will fight for us! How awesome is that! We only have to seek Him.
And as a cherry on top, my devotional reading began with this paragraph:
"Whenever we find favor with someone, we feel their support. In everything we do, we are encouraged. Its not that we feel we can do no wrong, but we feel that we will always do right. Verses pepper the Bible with ways we can find favor with God. The most basic of ways begins with opening God's Word and instilling it into our hearts and minds."  (Charles Stanley, Pathways to His Presence)
"Let not mercy and truth forsake you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart." (Proverbs 3:3)
Everything is sweeter after time spent with Him. Why do we struggle with this? I challenge you to spend some time with our Creator today. Savor His goodness and His love!

I've seen what faith can do!

October 12^th will always hold a special place in my heart, because it was on this date last year that I chose to quit just talking the talk, but to truly walk the walk.  I had believed in Jesus for a long time and in the past had had a great relationship with Him. I chose to let troubles of this world, wounds given to me, wounds I had given, and the fact that the plans for my life were not necessarily the plans God had for my life have much more focus than they needed.  I had been a Christian since I was 8 years old, but for the past 10 years or so I had chosen not to truly value my relationship with Him…that was until last October!

Kutless had their new song out, “What Faith Can Do”  and I cannot tell you the times I had listened to it and wondered “just what can my faith do?”  It felt so small, but I wore the mask of a faithful follower well.  I attended our annual Pastor’s Oasis and the group Selah was there and they had a song that really spoke to me, called “Unredeemed” (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NreUhPk9s9Y) Its amazing how God can really grab my heart with a song…He knows what each of us needs and what exactly will speak to us, and perhaps only us, but He always knows best!  He was tendering my heart, getting it ready for the breaking process it was about to endure.

The day after I returned from Pastor’s Oasis I left for Memphis to go hear Beth Moore…and if you don’t know who she is…google her! NOW!  Jason jokingly calls us a cult, but it’s a cult I’m a proud member of!  

She was doing a women’s conference in Memphis and I went with some ladies from our church.  She spoke right to me, or should I say God spoke directly to me through her.  He was calling me to forgive where forgiveness needed to be given, to love those that might hate me, and to lay all my broken pieces at His feet.  Of course, being the hard head that I am, I left without doing any of the above!

Then came Sunday night after church, actually pretty late that night, I had a true heart to heart with a friend. Spilled just about everything and told her I knew I had been wearing a mask.  Those masks that are so easy to put on…the mask of “everything is okay”, the mask of “Bible studier”, the mask of “all is well”, the mask of “caring pastor’s wife”.  There are so many masks we wear, the list could go on and I’m pretty sure I had a closet full of them, just chose daily which one I was going to wear and would just put on whichever one the day called for and typically would pack a few more “just in case”.  Oh how I was fooling myself!

She gave me a verse that night and I read it when I got home, but it wasn’t until Monday morning, October 12, 2009 that I took it to heart.  Psalm 51:17 “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.”  That morning I literally spent three hours with the Father. Oh what a precious time!  I laid down all my hurts, fears, failures, basically a broken heart and gave them to Him…and that is where the healing began.  I prayed Psalm 51:12 “Restore to me the joy of Your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.”  My faith had been stagnant long enough and I had just been going through the motions, oh, but no more!

Has the road been easy? No. Healing hurts. Has it brought joy? Absolutely!  It’s the joy that can only come from Him and spending time with Him.  When you allow Him full access to your heart and build on the relationship that begins the day of salvation, its life changing!

I’m grateful for my husband who prayed for me and had known for a while that this point was coming, but in his wisdom he chose to just remain quiet and allow God’s timing and His Spirit to lead me to the change.  He is such a godly man and I thank God for him every day of my life.

I’m also grateful for a young college student, who turned out to be one of the best friends ever.  I know we are a very unlikely pair, but isn’t that just like God, to put a friend in our life that is totally beyond anything we ever imagined?!  Sarah Hebert has listened, encouraged, challenged, and was always there asking “have you put that armor on yet?”  She held me accountable and still does, even now, living a half a world away.  I’m forever grateful for this unique friendship and she will never know just how much God has used her life in my relationship and growth in Him.

God has opened door after door once I gave it all to Him.  He led me to go on a trip to the Philippines last February where I helped with the Asia-Pacific Women’s Conference.  What a blessing that was!  I’ll have to admit though, that I had this overwhelming fear once I got there of “what in the world was He thinking bringing me here?”  God always knows best!  Though I’m so unworthy, He still loves me and has just led me to be a lot more transparent with Him and with others.

Am I still wearing masks?  I’d be lying to say that I never throw one of those on, but I’m much more aware of what I’m doing and can more easily lay them aside and just be real. Transparency in this day and age is hard.  Everyone expects the pastor’s wife to have it all together, well, NEWSFLASH…this one doesn’t!  I’m just a sinner saved by grace just like the next person. And oh what marvelous grace that is!  I’m so thankful that I serve an amazing God who loves me, regardless of anything I may do; it’s unconditional! 

Now the prayer of my heart is to break my heart for what breaks His.  I want that passion to love others like He loves them.

Yes, this past year, “silent prayers have been answered, broken hearts have been made new, that’s what faith can do!”

A few of my favorite things...

1. watching my kids while they sleep
2. listening to bedtime prayers and hearing Landri thank God for her great-great grandmother up in heaven
3. knowing my husband is in his office studying for a sermon
4. getting a random gift and not knowing who its from
5. seeing Brad when I go in Wal-mart and hearing him tell me "I. am. blessed."
6. cold mornings 
7. fireplaces
8. coffee with Jesus in the mornings
9. having someone write something nice on my facebook wall
10. seeing a friend's name pop up that she's on skype
11. fishing with my daddy
12. shopping at Canton with my mom
13. finding the "perfect" gift
14. New York City in the fall or at Christmas time
15. laughing
16. movie nights
17. spa days
18. random acts of kindness
19. flowers from my honey
20. pumpkin patches
21. my CrossTraining class
22. wrapping Christmas presents
23. good smelling candles, you know those that smell like the holidays!
24. Sunday mornings at Antioch
25. home group
26. meeting a friend at Starbuck's
27. flip flops
28. hoodies
29. smores around the fire pit
30. my chair by my fireplace
31. a surprise text from a friend
32. God's grace at just the right moment
33. photos of family and friends
34. coloring books
35. new socks
36. clean, fresh smelling sheets
37. warm towels
38. encouraging text messages
39. french fries and a chocolate shake
40. klove
41. unboxing Christmas decorations every year and replaying the memories
42. front porch swings
43. the beach and a good book
44. having a friend not only pray for you, but with you
45. unexpected card in the mailbox
46. a big pile of leaves
47. my kids and their "fort"
48. Landri telling Daddy to "tickle me" and giggling
49. sunsets
50. smiles 

Those are just a "few" of my favorite things.  Isn't God so good?  On days when the world may let us down or have us discouraged, we can always find something good if we look hard enough. God is always there. He is always faithful and He always has a word for us.  He is a friend like no other and will always give us just what we need at just the right moment.  How awesome is that???!  He knows us better than anyone and still chooses to love us and bless us with simple little "favorites" every day.  Now, what is one of your favorite things? :)

The Law of Kindness

Beth Moore Simulcast September 18, 2010 ~ Live from Chicago, IL
125,00 women and a few brave men!


My notes and thoughts from the day:


Theme Verse: Proverbs 31:26 
"She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness."


We live in a mean world, and its only going to get meaner. As II Timothy 3:1-5 tells us;
^1"But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. ²People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy,³without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good,⁴treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— ⁵having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them."


We have to, we must, protect the warmth of our warm hearts in this cold hearted world.


Vs. 26a: "she opens her mouth"...its going to happen! Women speak on an average 20,000 words a day, Men, a mere 7,000.
As women we are all teachers. We are always teaching, especially if you are a mother, aunt, grandmother, older sister, mentor, etc.  And another thing in this day and time, we are all published.  Every single time we text, blog, facebook, tweet, email, there our words are in print to be copied, pasted, forwarded to whomever, wherever. So we definitely need an editor and as children of God, the Holy Spirit is it.
*We need to eat it before we tweet it, flog it before we blog it, and look it, before we facebook it.


Luke 6:45 "Out of the overflow of our hearts our mouths speak." And with all the social networking out there today, there is no way to take back your words.


8 TASTES OF BIBLICAL KINDNESS:


1. Kindness is NOT weakness.
Luke 6:35-36 "love your enemy, show mercy and be kind to the wicked and the ungrateful."
Kindness has the empowerment of the Spirit and is perfectly capable of speaking a hard word if needed. 
Psalm 141:5 "Let a righteous man ^[a] strike me—it is a kindness; 
       let him rebuke me—it is oil on my head. 
       My head will not refuse it. 
       Yet my prayer is ever against the deeds of evildoers"

And I love Proverbs 11:16a "A kindhearted woman gains respect"

*nice is fine, but kindness is divine!

2. Kindness is not an action, its a disposition.

Kind comes from a Greek word "chrestos" meaning profitable, good for any use, useful to others, good natured.  It is the grace that pervades the whole nature...the word is descriptive of one's disposition.

You can fake nice, but you can't fake kindness.

3. Kindness wears down when we do.

Matthew 11:28-30  ²⁸"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

II Timothy 2:24 "And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful."

Genesis 37:4 "When his brothers saw that their father loved him more than any of them, they hated him and could not speak a kind word to him."

We all have someone we wished we had different feelings toward.

*When we are worn down, we need to be built up.

We don't need our egos built up, we need our spirits built up-most often this is done through other believers that you can be open and transparent with:

Ephesians 4: 

"¹²to prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up "

"¹⁶From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work."

"²⁹Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."

We HAVE to have face to face relationships, not just texting, facebooking, emails, and chats!!! (WHOA!!!! Wake up call to this generation!)

4. Kindness looks pain in the face.

Job 6:28a "But now be so kind as to look at me."

Be willing to look someone in the face. Listen to them. Hear their pain.

*We don't just want to study the Word, but make a deposit in our lives.

5. Kindness is a Saviour.

May we catch the childlike enthusiasm of just what God has given us!

It is so much fun to give to someone who is grateful for what they've been given.  When you give someone something and they get so excited over it, then you just want to give them more.  Lets get excited over what God has given us!

Ephesians 2:

^"4But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, ⁵made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.⁶And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus,⁷in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. ⁸For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— ⁹not by works, so that no one can boast. ¹⁰For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."

*Kindness looks, aids, reaches, gives, but it cannot save! Our job is to point others to THE Saviour, because we cannot be anyone's everything!

6. Kindness has good memory.

When we start to forget the kindnesses God has given, we begin to rebel.  Remember how good God has been!  

Hosea 11:4 "I led them with cords of human kindness, 

       with ties of love; 
       I lifted the yoke from their neck 
       and bent down to feed them."

Beth shared a story about her dog that all she has to do is pick up the leash and her dog grabs the end of it and takes off.  She is just so excited to be walking with "her master".  Jesus wants us to grab on!

God has never let you go and He always leads with kindness.

7. Kindness craves an outlet.

If you and I are people with good memories of what God has done for us, we cannot hold it in!

II Samuel 9:1 "David asked, "Is there anyone still left of the house of Saul to whom I can show kindness for Jonathan's sake?"

When we have it, we want to give it!

We have an overflow, lets give some away!

*God is arming His people with the sword of the Spirit. We don't need to allow little things to tear us apart, but stand together, shoulder to shoulder, so we can tell the world of Jesus Christ our Lord!

Beth told another story about her daughter and her daughter's boyfriend (now her husband). Beth asked her, "what makes him special?" and her daughter replied, "he's the kindest man I ever met."

She then shared this story:

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=89164759 and then went into the story out of Acts 28:"¹Once safely on shore, we found out that the island was called Malta. ²The islanders showed us unusual kindness. They built a fire and welcomed us all because it was raining and cold."

She shared part of an article about countries and charitable giving (can be found here: http://www.earthtimes.org/articles/press/charitable-behavior-153-countries,1451614.html

basically Malta, thousands of years later, is still a "kind" country!

8. Kindness leaves a legacy!

You have a spiritual line, is it worth it for us to break free from all the stuff that causes bondage to see those who are coming behind us live in liberty? Do not ever give up on your loved ones!

Our society is "all about me" - make a choice to be grateful. to be kind. to realize what you have been given and to pour into the lives of others.  make a decision today to cry out for wisdom.

And just be kind to people! That is what we, as Christians, are call to do. 

*Crave an opportunity to share it and show it!

More notes on the subject from Beth:

"To love one another is not passive, and it can't be just with words.  It must be with actions and attitude. It means that just as Christ laid down His life for us, so we are to lay our lives down for one another. We lay aside everything that our old self wants, the need to retaliate when we are hurt, position, popularity, human praise, earthly possessions...our egos are not longer central. We are no longer driven to impress. We no longer have to have our own way. All the successes in this world become nothing, because now our desire is to love one another, so that all will know and believe in the love of Christ."

John 13: ³⁴"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. ³⁵By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

"In this current age of technology, the people of all the nations have now become our neighbors. We are now aware and as believers, must respond to the needs of the world if we are to demonstrate love as God does....We are to be peacemakers, reconcilers, restorers, characterized by diligence and others-centeredness.  We are to be unified and like-minded within the church so that we join together for one purpose. This is to love, that we set aside our lives completely for the lives of others."

Wow! Need I say it was an amazing time together!  We all need a reminder of kindness in our lives...and I'm top of the list! Trust me, I realize that.  It was a wonderful weekend, and yet a tough weekend all in one.  God is good! Let us not forget that! And let us share His kindness with everyone....so get filled up and then start splashing on those around you!  Write a letter. Make a phone call. Send a card. Go to lunch. Go out for coffee. Give a hug. Anything to let others know you love them, but more importantly that God loves them! May our focus ALWAYS be to point folks to HIM!!!

A Decade, Really??

It hardly seems possible that 10 years ago today I was eagerly awaiting the arrival of my first child!  No, I was not lying around pregnant and craving pickles and ice cream, but I was anxiously awaiting on the amazing gift of adoption.  For years and years we had tried to have a baby of our own, and yet when that baby was placed in my arms there was NEVER a doubt that he was OURS!

He cried constantly for the first 3 months, but then he slept one night from midnight until 6 a.m.! Daddy and I were thrilled and we got him up and looked out and it was snowing! And he had the starring role of playing Baby Jesus at Bethlehem Revisited that night! What a 24 hours!

The past 10 years have had so many changes in our lives, as well as the lives of those around the world.  We celebrated his very first birthday with a big party on 9/11/01.  The day that changed us all. Forever.  We took him to see Ground Zero on his 8th birthday. We want him to know how things were and how they are, but mostly the God that was there with us through it all.  We want him to stand tall as a Christian and as an American and as an amazing leader among his peers.

There are so many stories I could put here, the way he use to say "bwess chu mama" when I would sneeze, or the way he has loved on his favorite stuffed animal and his baby blanket for years!  Seeing him at the beach, or on a basketball court, or singing with his choir, on the baseball field, or tenderly holding his new baby sister.

Of course that does remind me of a story of a couple of weeks ago...Landri was talking NONstop and Turner was out of patience with her.  I looked at him and grinned and said, "Awww, Turner, remember those days where you would pray and pray for your baby sister?" to which he replied, "Yes, ma'am, but then she started talking!!" Oh how that kid can make me laugh! And no one makes Landri giggle harder than he does.

Well, he is growing up, time is passing so quickly.  I thank God that he did make the decision last year to ask Jesus into his precious heart.  Did that make him perfect? Not hardly, but it does make him teachable to learn those valuable truths we hold dear.  A heart open to the leading of the Holy Spirit to guide and direct him in every day decisions even now as a child, which we pray will be just a way of life when he is grown.

Is he sheltered? Absolutely! And i'm not ashamed of that. There will be movies, tv shows, books, music and other things I will not want him to see or hear or read....I will keep his innocence of childhood for as long as I can! He IS my baby and I want him to learn the ways of our Lord before the world is thrown at him.  I pray for God to guard his heart and trust that our faithful God molds him, holds him, and leads him every day of his life.
Happy Birthday, John Turner! I love you. So. Very. Much!

Silent Hero

She shows...

She shares...

She is a silent hero. She may not own a lot compared to the things this world has to offer, but she is far richer than any CEO on the planet.  She humbly serves and loves. Not because she is paid to do this job, but because she loves Him, therefore loves His people.You won't see her on CNN, or in the Wall Street Journal, or maybe never even in our famous 501; but she doesn't care. God has given her a passion to take His Word to the world, whether that be in her own home, to the little old lady down the street, a family everyone else may look down upon, or across the seas to a land foreign to everything she knows.

She serves...

She will leave her comforts. Her family. Her friends. Because she can't not go. He's put that desire, that passion deep within her soul. Every fiber of her being longs to make Him known. To share the passion for our Lord and His Word with everyone she meets. To see the passion grow in the lives of others.

She is called. She is precious. She is His. She is my "sister". She is my friend. And for that, I. am. grateful. 

Wherever YOU are today, there is your mission field, God has given you a ministry right where you are, so go show, share, serve, smile, sacrifice, and above all LOVE in His precious name!

She smiles...

She sacrifices...

She LOVES!

Masks, Blessings, and "My Timothy"

A year ago, I could look around my home and my life and feel extremely blessed, yet still knew something was not right. I had just moved into my gorgeous new home that Jason built for us. Everyone in my family was healthy. My husband was being blessed daily by just getting out of God's way and allowing God to move at Antioch. I had friends that would be there in a heartbeat if needed them and I could go to church every Wednesday and Sunday and wear my mask and be the "perfect little pastor's wife"...okay, so you all that know me well, know I'm anything but that!

It was truly in the midst of all of my blessings of home, family and friends that God brought me to my knees and gently told me "your joy is not found in any of these things or people, its found here, with Me". It was in the Fall of last year that as the leaves fell from the trees outside, the masks begun to fall from my heart and my life.

It was not easy, healing hurts. Often, it hurts really bad, but its so worth it in the end. It was during this time that the Lord brought someone already dear to me, even closer. He placed that younger person beside me to love me, to encourage me, to challenge me, and to give me hope in Him through her every day life. As Proverbs 27:17 says, "As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend." She has been my iron, and has sharpened me by continually reminding me to get into the Word, put on my armor, and to know that God is faithful and will always be enough!

I am certainly not a "Paul", but God has blessed me with a "Timothy". In 2 Timothy Paul writes, "I thank God, whom I serve, as my forefathers did, with a clear conscience, as night and day I constantly remember you in my prayers." I am always reminded of "your sincere faith" and want "you to be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus".

I have watched my "Timothy" encourage young and old alike around here and have been blessed to be splashed by her cup that is overflowing. She is leaving a legacy already in the hearts of those who know her or have just heard of her.

In my Bible notes it says "Paul consistently prayed for Timothy, his friend, his fellow traveler, his son in the faith, and a strong leader in the Christian church. Although the two men were seperated from each other, their prayers provided a source of mutual encouragement." Now, just as Paul and Timothy were seperated, so we shall be. The tears that Paul and Timothy shed at their parting revealed the depth of their relationship and I know we have many tears that will be shed over the next few weeks/months, but as I "will recall your tears, and long to see you, so that I may be filled with joy" (2 Timothy 1:4) I will be ever praying for her and her ministry where she is serving.

Sarah Elizabeth Hebert, words are not enough. Thank you. And now, young woman of God, "pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses...I charge you to keep this command without spot or blame until the appearing of our Lord Jesus Christ....to Him be honor and might forever." (I Timothy 6:11-16)

I love you, my friend, my "Timothy"!